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Tue, Jul. 12th, 2005, 02:01 am
raindroproses: Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Title: Tatianna
Perpetrator: Jewelbaby

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2477049/1/

What It's Claiming to be: A story about Tony and Kate's daughter

What It Actually Is: Almost, but not quite, a Mary Sue. (A Sue would have more personality.) Oh, and a rip-off of the song "Butterfly Kisses". (God, I hate that song.)

Choice Highlights:

Tony watched Tatianna open the gift him and Kate had gotten her. It was a pair of keys to a new car that was sitting in the garage. Gibbs and Abby’s son Jason (Are you fucking kidding me?) was sitting beside her and smiled. “I wonder this is to.” Tatianna said. (Even if Kate ever lowered herself to sleep with Manwhore DiNozzo, if a child ever came of that unholy coupling, I highly doubt Kate would allow it to be named Tatianna.)

Tony smiled. “Go to the garage and see.” Tony said. (Commas. Are. Your. Friends.)

Tatianna ran out to the garage and screamed. ‘Daddy you got me a car?” Tatianna asked surprised. (Dude, we already know who's talking. They're called pronouns. Use them.)

Tony smiled. “You gotta have some way to get around. Just don’t drive like Gibbs.” Tony said. Tatianna smiled and ran over and kissed his cheek. (*weeps for the innocent comma*)

“Come on Jason.” She said running out of the house to her new car. (Holy carp! It's a pronoun!) Tony smiled yeah this was better than what he had imagined it would be. (Stop ripping off the song, damn it!)

Evilness Rating: Is this a scale from one to ten? If so, I'd give it a nine. (I, er, only skimmed. *shifty eyes*)

Tue, Jul. 12th, 2005 01:34 pm (UTC)

What It's Claiming to be: A story about Tony and Kate's daughter

This tidbit alone makes me reach for the sporks. And it's a Butterfly Kisses songfic? *cries* I hate that song, and I wonder if it's true if that guy was really a deadbeat dad?

And Gibbs and Abby have a kid? *reaches for the single malt scotch*

I hate the everyone hooks up fic.

Wed, Jul. 13th, 2005 04:37 am (UTC)

I like the song Butterfly Kisses...

Wed, Jul. 13th, 2005 04:39 am (UTC)

Well, you can like it. I just... don't. :-)

(It doesn't help that it inspires crap fanfic.)

Wed, Jul. 27th, 2005 07:24 pm (UTC)

I've noticed she's short on commas...


Here's an ample supply!

The idea that Kate would reproduce with Tony is horrific. They'd kill eachother if they ever got married!

Mon, Sep. 19th, 2005 12:51 pm (UTC)

And by the way...we all know that Tony has something serious going with on Gibbs, right? Right.
*crawling back to her happy little slashe world*

Tue, Nov. 15th, 2005 03:02 pm (UTC)

Of course. Look at the way they look at one another.

And I'll happily join you in happy-slash-land. With Gibbs and Tony there, it's got to be good. ;)

Tue, Nov. 15th, 2005 03:06 pm (UTC)

Here's an ample supply!

How much do you want to bet she never uses them? They'll just go bad, like old bananas.